Good day Enrichees!
Today I want to address something that we all will encounter: grief and loss. About a week ago my grandmother, Mama, passed away. Mama was an ambitious fashionable woman who never took crap from anyone! Unfortunately she was experiencing her second episode of cancer. In 2005, she fought colon cancer. Two years ago she was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer after unexplained fainting spells. I am grateful to have shared tons of laughs, intimate moments and family meals throughout the years and especially within the last 12 months.
I want to take this time to address the more challenging aspects after a loved one has transitioned. In today’s society we try hard to escape discomfort, psychological pain and emotional distress. These undesirable feelings are also a part of living and recovery. These emotions should not be avoided nor should they be denied or suppressed.When you feel bad, sad, angry, depressed your body is trying to communicate something is out of joint. You lost someone close to your heart of course it hurts, so let it hurt! Your pain, your sadness, your grief is a part of of the mourning process. It is a part of my process too. Embrace the pain, hurt, sadness and let it burn. The more you resist the longer the healing will take. Furthermore, avoiding the emotions can turn into anger, clinical depression or even physical ailments.
Notice I have been using the word process. According to Merriam Webster, process is defined as a natural phenomenon marked by gradual changes that lead toward a particular result. Your grief, my grief, is not a sudden change or action. It is natural and marked by slow changes that happen step by step. Grieving involves many steps towards healing and recovery. The loss of a loved one will always be a part of your experience but the priceless personal growth you experience from identifying, acknowledging, expressing and accepting your emotions is priceless. Here is a list of common emotions that we need to address to truly experience the process:
This list is not exhaustive. A variety of emotions accompany grief and mourning. Keep in mind every person is unique hence the grieving may look different. That said, please erase your expectations of what grief and mourning should look like. Embrace your emotions as they occur. Don’t suppress your sadness, anxiety, etc. Utilize all the coping skills you have in your tool belt. Meditate, exercise, take a walk, spend time in nature, get a massage, plan a facial, go to the spa, etc. Consider talking with a friend or seek a mental health professional. You will get through this. I will get through this. We will get through this.
Love you all!